From In Those Shoes

 

                                                    

almost woman

                         almost here

 

                                             encoded\ the structure of morning lacks logic

                                       beyond necessity

 

                                                         avoiding word

                                  to function

                         in

                            this

                                                                       too real world

                           

 

          lost in wall patterns

                             swirling paper

                     messages

 

                                          response

                            out of

     another’s

                                   need

 

                   with

                                  courtesy address

                       lack of sunshine

                                  slumbering forgetfulness

                                                         to be alive

                                                                    live shapes

                                                    faint pencil lines suggestive of the original                          

                   plan

                                          blotted out by heavy hands

 

                             to have spoken

                                        square

                                                       stuck mid                         

                                 laughter

 

               what is meant by

 

                                           irregularity

 

      wearing glasses to be

                                   older

 

        skipped competence

                                           of woman

achieve nothing

                         beyond noise

 

where their titles sit labels brand my intellect

even the children humour my contribution

washing dishes I dream of Place & that small fire

 

it is not man that moves me

                                                      aside

               I am all things

only inside

    reason slides

 

it is not radical to abandon cobwebs

it is not strength that spits and clears my throat of dust

clogging mind & intentions revolutions come

 

from gentle movements

 

                             

 

              birth to

    

                 flow within

 

                  lexical

                                 placing

                         this

                                     suit

          in/ stasis

                    term

                            loaded

 

                                             form

 

     time             

next

                 round

                                hand dealt-

 

                                             in/nate/al/derm/al/del/forming            

                                       destin-

 

                                                    nation

               

                      lounge reading    

 

                inf 0

                         station

                                            depart the body

                   to be

                                all hearts

                                                \

             sense where this

                                 might go

                                                             on the clock to                                                                                                                             

                                              insate

                                                       less

                                                                       a high handed

                                                                       

            

                                                             inhalation

                                                fear

                                     & talking at

              to avoid

                          confront

                                  constants

                                the buoyancy of being

                              under-skin of it

 

 

 

                           ache spinebent to intent

                      then

 

                             back to Tuesday’s

                        safe & weary

            nothing to lose

 

       this working out

 

                              the year

               diss-

                     locate flotsam

                                     bars & notes

                   a swift half

                dis  -sea                                            

         ceased

                                                 &

                               find myself

                                                   in sax

                            & out of it

 

     always hard consonants ending in a fuck

 

                                    -sect & dying

                          to

 

                               expel

 

 

                           creeping

              harebell blue

         butterfly clusters

                                blown to

copper speck

             fairy ash

                          aber edged

                     dune

 

                                                   drift

                                                to be facing

                                                   tidewrack

 

                  urge to dip

                                   more than

                   knee

                                               a kiss on the horizon

                       open armed

               & bristly

 

 

                    stave

                              the moment

                      an audio experience

       misty

         non instruction

                             instrumental

                    clef

              float through me

 

  confuse this ringing in one ear

         a tug on the shoulder & numb thumbed

                       then

 

                          batter my fish

 

condensed glass

         the cider &

    frayed heart

 lay it on the table

 

                                the ace

                                   to end in me

 

                        

                         peripheral

                              colours

                                     catch

                        yours

                                          casual

                    &

                         passing

                                  wrong direction

                     reappear sideways

                                               always on my back

 

 

 

                     cropped fields

                                                         like tracing

                                  not quite aerial

                                     nor grounded

                                              land lines

                        written between

                                                                 sky & sky

 

                    sky & sky

       whipped to feverish bluish

             blush of flesh

 & windswept

      tilted notes of clouds

               curbs tree lined

       thickly meadow sweet

 

 

            out of hand

      to please me

           pulse

                & spin

 

 

3 types of chest pain

     that won’t kill you

coppices & deadwood left

       kniving

  

 

  MRI

an annual notification

               my heterozygote reference

      BTYW(version)8

     count down =through risk

     inherent

            accordingly increasing

    with consumption

                  palpitating non catastrophe

         sleep it off with pesda pizza & vina sol

 

 

             dance new rhythms

     out of domestic

               turmoil

      \

     written

      of

       the

        body

          \

from the woman womb in tact

 

          

                    genius v genome

             some other tribal concurrence

                  globular & irregular

 

 

          disorientate street names

     not quite mapping

              & unable to

                        find

                     it even to

                         mouth

 

 

              hard to imagine

                  Baudelaire walking

     my girls unite out of quarantine

           someone else’s present

                     under the hammer

               viral stocktake & fill the wardrobes

 

 

               reconfigure order

       then return

  present

        tensed September

               dislocate to March

        out of essentials







[Lee Duggan (b.1976) is based in the foothills of Snowdonia. With a focus on marginalisation she explores reclaimed landscapes through innovative approaches to language and facilitates writing for wellbeing workshops. Her debut collection, Reference Points (2017, Aquifer) was well-received in Poetry Wales, Elliptical Movements, and Litter, as was her sequence Green (2019, Oystercatcher). Her work has also appeared in The Edge of Necessary (2018, Aquifer / Boiled String) and more recently in Tears in the Fence, Noon, Poetry Wales and Junction Box. She has forthcoming collections with Knives, Forks & Spoons and Contraband. ]

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2021 by Lee Duggan, all rights reserved. This text may be used and shared in accordance with the fair-use provisions of Copyright law. Archiving, redistribution, or republication of this text on other terms, in any medium, requires the notification of the journal and consent of the author.